do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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