I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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