I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
cat food counts as protein by the way
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
