It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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