You just made me feel so damn special
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Randomize