I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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