i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize