Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
40s are totally the cure
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize