I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it was like his penis was on wheels.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I have aggressive nipples.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
