why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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