how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
40s are totally the cure
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
