I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
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