Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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