I CAN MOONWALK!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
