There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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