We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
