I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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