I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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