I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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