I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
