Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
