Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
These tits shall not be calmed
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