found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
