all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
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College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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