Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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