i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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