i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize
