SEEEEXXX PLEASE
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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