what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you traded sex for a burrito?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Pants are for mortals
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
