I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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