I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
