I heard we made out
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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