I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
