She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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