dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
