Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Semen is not good for contacts.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
