It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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