i was born a porn star she said
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just had sex on a roof
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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