i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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