That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
jump out the window naked night went bad
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