please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
