omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
