I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
No subtext here. People are naked.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize