Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
