As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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