Non-Jews are for practice
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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