I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
