I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
