I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
