Pappa wants mamma naked
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
All I want is dick and wine.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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