and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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