Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
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His hands were made for my vagina.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
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No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
My breasts were aching with rage.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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