Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
