I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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