It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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