that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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