Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
