Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
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