his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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