He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Is it penis luge time yet?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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